what’s out there

Posted by susan on July 28th, 2010. Filed under: everyday adventures.

Last night a friend and I had a conversation about a woman’s biological clock. The conversations took place two seconds after I cringed at the sound of myself stating that I would in fact be 28 today – well, today if I am able to hit publish by midnight tonight, July 28th. While I’m not one of those people that fears being 30 or 40 or even 50, the reminders that time is passing by is what always gets me thinking. At each birthday, no matter what age, I tend to ask myself: what have I experienced?

If you were to ask me what my ultimate fear is I’d probably settle on the fear of failure. Some may take that as a good quality because it means that I am determined, that I work hard, and that I will do anything to achieve my goals. But, the truth is, it’s not always a positive thing. In fact, more often than not, it’s not.┬áIt forces me to create guidelines that I must fulfill, and if there’s one thing I’ve learned about being happy, it’s that the best things occur outside of your so-called boundaries.

When I look at my travel goals, for the average full time working person, I feel like I am pretty fulfilled. I’m going to Tunisia and Spain for my honeymoon for crying out loud. Scratch that, “we” are going to Tunisia and Spain for “our” honeymoon. Yes, I’m still working on that.

But yesterday, someone at work was adjusting their personnel files and asked me if I was changing my last name in September, and if so, what it will be. Since our wedding is so soon, they thought it more efficient to file me under my future name now rather than have to change it later. Right now I am filed under my future name.

And do you want to know what my first thought was? I will not have traveled to Nova Scotia with my maiden name. I know that sounds weird, but listen. My ancestors flocked from Nova Scotia to Boston. Remember the guy at the Nova Scotia booth at the Boston Globe Travel Show? When he heard my name he told me that he knew so many Forshner’s. That name just isn’t as common around these parts. But there, it’s legendary. I in no way shape or form felt fear about changing my name, in fact the notion kind of excites me. But I did suddenly feel like a window of experience closed. A goal was tangibly unmet.

But back to biological clocks. I really don’t think about that too often. I have my own schedule. What I do think about are experiences, mostly those related to travel. I’m in no rush to fulfill the next stage of inevitable questions that come from those who used to ask “so when will you get married?” But I am in a rush to experience. I want to make sure that no matter what direction our life together takes us, that we don’t lose sight of what’s out there.

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