transient travels

This weekend Mike and I played the part of a couple of suburban yuppies, wandering back and forth between Crate & Barrel and Macy’s in search for the perfect set of china to add to our wedding registry. It is difficult to build a home that does not exist. Matching the colors and styles of each “gift” as if we can paint a picture of a house we will one day buy. At one point, after passing through the kitchen appliance section, we decided that we would update our registry with the stainless steel Kitchen Aid mixer instead of the blue, just in case it clashes. In going through the ritual of setting up a registry at all, it seems as though we are upending the natural order of things when in reality, we already have.

Our tiny little apartment becomes tinier every day, as I now sit among shreds of paper that spilled out of a Sam Adams box the cats knocked over – my recycling system. The hangers in my closet bend each time I pry my clothing apart to squeeze in a pair of work pants. Electric wires curl out from underneath the television in our living room and have become a permanent obstacle for those walking to grab a seat in our big orange chair, which is covered in scratches from the cats.

There is a couch in Crate & Barrel that I love, it’s very Mad Men-esque. I sat on it in the store and thought about being able to put together a room with it. As I sat and pretended to be able to afford such a luxury, I also thought about the fact that the couch costs about two round trip tickets to Barcelona, three round trip tickets to Los Angeles and maybe one whole ticket to Australia.

There are times when there are no means for much of anything and there are times when we have to sacrifice. But other times, we are lucky enough to have a choice.

Tonight, Mike repaired my shoddy dresser drawer that I purchased from Ikea – which was a big mistake looking back because the quality is horrible – but at the time, the choice in a cheaper version helped fund a girls’ weekend. I haven’t gone clothes shopping since last summer (the Wrentham Outlets have missed me), but I did go to Costa Rica in December and my lack of shopping helped support the trip. Our bed was pulled from my parents’ basement and it shows, but I keep pushing off buying a new one because I won’t settle for a mediocre honeymoon.

I will never be able to afford to have it all and at some point my life may boil down to a string of sacrifices. But for now I am focusing on my choices – and no matter how bad I want a home where I can sprawl out on a stylish couch from Crate & Barrel, at least for now, I guess I’d rather get on a plane.